Central London

October 29, 2007 at 12:03 pm (1)


A blue shark, pictured last week, is the last thing you expect to encounter in the streets of London. This was on display at James Knight of Mayfair’s Notting Hill Gate branch; fishmongers to the Queen, apparently.

The shark, of course, is an apt metaphor for city life, but capitalism cannot be harpooned so easily. A few days later, the poor animal was less of an attraction, consigned to the sides of the window display, half its body lobbed off. Still, its jaws provided fascination for a little schoolgirl I spotted poking it.

This week at I was driving in Piccadilly Circus (our Times Square) and was distracted by one of the lights there.

The Oxford definition of McJob was on display — (“an unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector”). McDonald’s response began with the words “we beg to differ”. By this point I had skipped a red and had to concentrate on the road. But imagine a big company like that being hurt by a word. McJob. McJob. McJob! That’ll piss them off.

Anyway, this squirrel’s not bothered, in a church square off Kensington Hight Street I caught it feasting on French fries.


And here’s it is close-up, taken without zoom.


Around the corner, there was pest control.


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Shakespeare revisited: Mahmoud’s soliloquy

October 28, 2007 at 12:57 pm (1)



Inspired by Jake and Dinos Chapman, the Britart duo who caused a storm after defacing Goya etchings in 2003 — such as Insult to Injury, pictured — here, with apologies to the Bard, is a defacement of his work. (Most of it was too good to change, though.)



To bebomb, or not to bebomb–that is thetheir question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind Iran to buffersuffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous amassing fortune
Or to take [nuclear] arms against a sea of troubles shekels
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleepsheep
No more–and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocksstocks
That fleshcash is heir to. ‘Tis a consummationconsumption
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep–
To sleep–perchance to dreamcream: ay, there’s the rub (baba),
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coilquest for oil,
Must give us pausecause. There’s the respectdisrespect
That makes calamityKalashnikov of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels infidels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary hairy life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller groveller returns, puzzles pizzas the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Lack of Thus conscience does make makes cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolutionUN resolutions
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. — Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia!Georgedubia! — Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

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An emotion

October 25, 2007 at 10:58 pm (blog)

Anger, a friend of mine said, is powerlessness. Asked by his teacher, this is my nine-year-old cousin’s take on the emotion.



Angry is like red steamy fire burning you up till you turn into ashes! It tastes like bitter lemon! It smells spicy and pungent! It sounds like a girl screaming in a high pitched voice! It feels like red Mexican pepper running down your veins till it gets to the heart!


                                     By Daniel

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October 25, 2007 at 4:29 pm (blog)

Next-door to me lives a man who rarely leaves his apartment and plays loud music that doesn’t let me sleep. I asked him to turn it down last week and he did (at 5.30am). Then he started singing. Yesterday, a friend of mine who is an asylum seeker said: “I wish I had your problems.”

This means, you’ve got a British passport, what’s a little bit of noise from your neighbour. She’s was adamant that my noise worries and inability to sleep were trivial. Perhaps she’s right. Last month she was in a detention centre. I don’t know where my UK passport is, but tonight I will find it, chop it up and stuff it in my ears.

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When the wars starts

October 21, 2007 at 10:36 pm (1)

AP news:
Last night Israeli jets flying sorties around Natanz, Iran, accidentally targeted an orphanage, killing 30 people, 25 of whom were children. Hours later, an Israeli spokesman said that the incident was ‘regrettable’ and a consequence of the threat that the Islamic Republic posed to “both the region and the world”.

Iranian TV stations are broadcasting pictures of the rubble that remains of the orphanage, showing grieving grandparents and local residents. The US has asked Israel to halt air-strikes on Iranian targets for three hours. These started on Friday, when the US started its third phase of the war on terror with its ‘Apocalypse Pow’ campaign.

President Ahmadinejad has called the act a “murderous act of imperialist arrogance” and called for the “Iranian nation” to stay united against the foreign aggressors”.

Last week he ordered dozens of bloggers accused of acting against the interests of national security to be rounded up. Amnesty International has voiced fears that the bloggers, all in their early twenties, may be facing torture or death. Yesterday, the head of the Revolutionary Guard ordered the arrest of 300 writers, artists and academics who signed a petition demanding the resignation of Mr Ahmadinejad. Earlier today, pepper gas and plastic bullets were used to disperse a large demonstration by students at Amirkabir university, all of whom, the government claims, are “strengthening the enemy” by demonstrating against the war with Israel and the US.

Britain’s prime minister has said that if the war lasts for longer than five days, as it has been predicted to, that the UK will be ‘happy to muck in’.

The Iranian government has just confirmed that three “subversive elements formerly students” have been shot fatally on Tehran university campus. A spokesman added that a number of policeman were in hospital receiving treatment from words the students had hurled at them.

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Soap opera

October 15, 2007 at 11:55 pm (Double espresso)

I received a call from my therapist today. “I need to talk,” he said.

“You need to talk to me? What about.”

“One of my clients.”

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll charge.”

“How much?” he said.

“What you charge me.”

“Okay,” he said, “Why don’t we do an exchange.”

“No,” I said. “Once you pay me, our relationship will be altered.”

“I want two minutes of your time,” he pleaded.

“Well go on,” I said.

“My rabbit Alberto died.”

“That’s it?”


“Why choose me to tell that too.”

“I thought you’d understand.”

“That your rodent died?”


“My condolences,” I said.


Then he said nothing.

“That’s it?”

“No,” he replied.

“There’s more?”


“So,” I said. “Tell me.”

“That’ll cost you money,” he said.

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By cousin Daniel

October 7, 2007 at 10:54 pm (1)

This afternoon I asked my nine-year-old cousin Daniel, who was busy rolling about on the sofa behind his mum as she sat talking to my then love interest (we’ve split now), and paid him five pounds to write something on the following topic:

The most important things in my life now

By Daniel

My computer is one of the most important things in my life because I can do my homework on it, amazing don’t you think! I can talk to people, I can play games on it, and I can watch short movies! I can see pictures; I can hear music and buy stuff from Ebay!

My family is one of the most important things in my life because they help with my homework (but computer helps me more)! They are friendly and give me advice which makes life easier for ME! They clean the house, they give me food and %95 they are involved in my life.

My house is one of the most important things in my life because I live there I put my things there like Wii, ps2, TV and my bed! My house helps me not have germs because if I didn’t have a house I will be living on the streets which there are germs!

Payvand’s girlfriend in one of the most important things in my life so she can entertain me all day long!!!!!!!!!!!!

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