Obs
Covering religion
A journalist said to me: “I’m writing a piece about women and Islam and I don’t know a thing about it.”
“Wouldn’t worry,” I said. “That’s the first qualification for writing about Islam.”
Joy of text
Predictive text messages spell my name, Peyvand, as “sexual”. When my mother-in-law got a mobile I sent her a text: “Look forward to lunch on Sunday. Sexual.”
In the timing
Before the Iraq war the British public were told Saddam’s missiles could reach the UK in 45 minutes. Iran poses no such threat. Even if it did, the missiles would be 45 minutes late.
Energy drink
If the Iranians invade Britain, we should kick them out. Fight on the beaches, fight on the landing ground, fight in the fields, the streets and the hills.
What if Britain attacks Iran? Well, if you’ve stayed in a B&B you’ll know the best way to humble the British is hospitality. They’re not used to it. We’ll give them bacon, eggs, sausage, beans and extra toast free of charge. And then we’ll make them a nice, hot cup of oil.
Whole picture
Everything is in place for my wedding, it’s in a castle, I’ve got the best caterers, no bride as yet, but that’s a minor detail.
Insider knowledge
A friend of mine in the Pentagon is confident Hilary Clinton will be the next president, of Iran.
